I haven't posted in a while and let me tell you why. Pharmacy school is dumb. Let me tell you why. Professors don't teach you.
Before we begin, however, I must expose to you my inherent bias regarding the situation. I think pharmacy students are the smartest motherfuckers around. Especially those attending an accelerated program like yours truly. "You're so arrogant..blah blah blah".... "Why didn't you go to med school then if you're so brilliant?" Well here's the answer to that ignorant question: you only have to go to graduate school for 2 years and 9 months and come out making six fig's easy, you don't have to touch filthy motherfuckers all day long, and down the road if you want to work three 12 hour days you can do just that. You will never be on call and you will never cup another man's balls while he forces a fake cough. You can have a family. You have less student loans. I have an extended list yet that's not what this blog is about... just for shits though, the next time you hear person refer to a pharmacist as "someone that couldn't get in to med school" do me a favor and cup their balls with your hand and squeeze violently. Being a doctor sucks. Check you latest suicide rate polls if you don't believe me.
The point of this blog is to truly unveil how to teach somebody something because my school SUCKS at it.
It is the policy of the Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences and it's accrediting body to create "life-long learners" by enforcing student-interactive learning in their second professional year. Let me translate that: they want to teach pharmacists how to learn by making them teach themselfs (pimpin' word alert) the most critical information in their professional field. Well thats just ridiculous.
So this is the deal: you are supposed to read jospeh T. diprio's pharmacotherapy textbook prior to coming to class and then partake in a one hour and twenty minute "student-lead" discussion on that day's topic.
First and foremost you are clinically insane if you think 250 students are going to read chapters prior to coming to class. That's just a fact. Well let's assume said students decide to play along. This textbook is 3 inches thick. For those of you not good with numbers, the book sitting flat goes up to the "B" on a can of Bud Light. The book is 2,559 pages long. Almost as many pages as Manny Ramirez has career hits. Not to mention the font is like size 8. The size of Manny Ramirez's IQ. And then there's your little nuisances like spelling errors...."therapeutic aGNEts"...oh you mean agents? Excellent, I'm filling blank slides for my class tomorrow using a source written by people who can't spell agent. Student X, what do you think you should use to treat disease Y? I would use an anxiety aGNEt i believe.
Being resilient and brilliant pharmacy students we find ways to solve this problem. We use last year's students drug packets of course. But this is by no means a long-term solution. Half of their shit is outdated or wrong so we are just delaying having to learn the information so we don't look like an idiot in class when our "professor" calls on us.
Regardless. Let's assume that MCPHS believes students read before hand and fill out their packet. WHATS THE FUCKING POINT OF GOING TO CLASS? There are no "lecture slides" per se. Sure, the professor has slides that we may or may not have access to (because they don't know the information either?) but it's a futile and frustrating process to attempt to copy them down. Unless you're a skilled secretary and can transcribe like a thousand words a minute you're shit out of luck. Here's all the important information but let's skip over this and get to your packets. Is Alalidifkc Moustafcei here? What did you find were the reasons old men can't get boners?
Let's again assume Alalidifkc is on top of his game (or has his friend's notes). What if there is a question? "I have a question....". Well now you're fucked. Why's that? First off you've unwittingly volunteered yourself to answer the following question in your packet. Secondly the professors "answer" your question in the following manner. Professor: well, what do you think would be the answer. Student: ummmm, yes? Student thinking: fuck. i don't know, why the fuck do you think i asked the question? Professor: can anybody else help Retarded Johnny here answer his question? Silence. Professor: well you guys can look that up. Johnny, what did you have for the next question? Johnny: yes?
What are we learning about you ask? It's obviously a very organized system that deals with one bodily dysfunction and moves to the next body dysfunction, right? No? So you do one class of drugs, and then move to a different class? No? Oh, they don't organize anything at all?Bingo. Everyday there is a new "professor" that leads our discussion on a completely random fucking disease that they specialize in. For example, our last exam covered erectile dysfunction (penis), glaucoma (eye), acne (face), lice (poor kids), benign prostatic hyperplasia (taint). In that order. You're trying to make sense of things that aren't connected or organized at all, complicating the process even more than necessary.
Well that seems like a brilliant way to teach now doesn't it. It's like an episode of Lost, you leave with 21 questions and no goddamn answers. So now the exam rolls around and you spend HOURS fruitlessly trying to teach yourself everything there is to know about everything you've covered and not laugh at the pictures of flaccid penises.
How are the tests? Ha...it's like an episode of Lost, you have 21 questions and no goddamn answers.
This is what pisses me off the most. The teachers are fucking geniuses. Why? Well, each teacher has 8 questions per lecture and they somehow manage to write 8 questions that have like 3 answers that could be right! Do you know how hard it is to write a question that has 3 "right" answers!? You have to be an evil mastermind to do this. And I am not being sarcastic at all.
The most accurate way I've come to describe the test questions is like this: they are like the stupid IQ trick questions on some blackberry app that my girlfriend's sister showed me. You have to answer the question right to move on or you start over but the questions are misleading. It says click the smallest number. Then there are really small font 88's and really big font 12's. Well do you want the smallest numerical value or the smallest number in actual size. Brilliant. There are two right answers depending on your interpretation!
So the same ass clown's that don't answer my questions in class are mastermind exam question makers. It infuriates me. I'm paying you. Teach me your evil ways! I know that you understand this stuff, how about you help me too you son of a bitch!
So, how do you effectively teach someone something? You start by answering their goddamn questions. But more importantly, you SIMPLIFY it. the best way to learn anything is to simplify it! use some corny metaphor or pneumonic device that helps me remember shit. You don't have to spoon feed us either. we are smart. you can challenge us intellectually without holding our hands, fucking do it. Its really not that hard to subliminally teach concepts to people. In fact, I just did it to YOU (my loyal blog readers) using baseball, beer, and Lost as helpful metaphors and you didn't even realize it. Here is your multiple choice question:
Which of the following is the MOST CORRECT reason is sucks to be a doctor:
A) joseph T. dipiro's book sucks but makes a great coaster
B) the "suicide squeeze"
C) manny ramirez hits a lot and has a low IQ
D) producer's of Lost have ADHD and require therapuetic aGNEts
The answer is B. All of the answers are correct statements but if you paid attention in class you would know that it sucks to be a doctor because of the "suicide squeeze". It's not obvious to understand necessarily...i didn't have it on my slides, i didn't just tell you, and it takes some processing of information (and a sense of humor) to understand.
Repeat Offender: Patiently Waiting (77), Hate It Or Love It (65)
BRYTunes Genius Recommendation: Answers - Submersed (32)
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