Sweet Dreams- Eurythmics (23)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeMFqkcPYcg

How awesome of a movie was Inception? Fucking amazing. If there were a sparks note page for humans this movie would be my sparks note. Doubting reality, obsession with dreams, disregard for physics, ceaseless anguish, potent sedatives, manipulation of people, and astonishing handsomeness. My autobiography. No but seriously, i will buy this movie and watch it again....which hasn't happened since that movie where paris hilton was in her red underwear (house of wax or something like that?)...thats how good it was.

After discussing the ending with my bff, i declared it the best ending of all time. Knowing my movie critiquing history and my lifelong need for resolution, he immediately countered with the fact that to this day I have not and refuse to watch any of the Saw movies after watching the first one.

For those of you who don't know or haven't bothered to watch Saw or Inception, you don't know what happens in the end of these movies for one reason or another.

It is absolutely true that I have not watched any of the Saw sequels. Besides the pimp ass song at the end of Saw 1 (some instrumental version of Kashmir by Led Zeppelin on steroids) , there was absolutely nothing good about its ending. In the case of Saw 1, the "you'll never know" ending was strictly used to set up the sequel (and piss me off royally). Thus, I swore to never watch the sequel...or the subsequent like 12 movies they ended up making. That's bush league, Saw. This is what I like to call an empty "you'll never know " done for all the wrong reasons ending. Also known as the gay "tune in next time" suspense bullshit so we can rob you out of your hard earned money ending. Or the we really love to piss people off and we're in the position to do so ending. Sorry Saw, that only works for me in professional wrestling and One Tree Hill. Just as I had suspected all along, the grapevine tells me that you do actually find out what happened at the end of Saw 1 in a sequel Saw. This just infuriates me to no end and proves my point that the Saw people are greedy, up to no good, sell-out simpletons.

On the contrary, Inception's "you'll never know" ending was an amazing summarization everything I've stood for since the day of my birth (i so badly wanted to use the word inception there but i thought i'd spare us all the hilarious pun to focus on the point at hand (couldn't resist myself (a parenthesi within a parenthesi (is there really no singular for parentheses? (see what i did there?)))))...fall. God I amuse myself.

I have always argued that reality is non-existent. Life is one big mind-fuck. Dreams are ridiculously intriguing. Everyone's belief's are comical. Time changes anything and everything, if time in of itself even exists. I am being dead serious by the way. Literally sit down and think (for once?) about how everything got to be the way it is. It's is unfathomable. Language cannot begin to describe how seriously mysterious every single object in our world actually is.

I have so many arguments to present here but i'll stick to just one for the sake of time and the possibility of boring you/making you think i'm out of my fucking mind. Think about the concept of three dimensions. Fucking crazy. Why are there 3 dimensions? Everything could theoretically be two dimensional. You can portray 3-dimensions in 2-dimensions: drawings, television shows. Hell, you can portray 3 dimensions in no dimensions if you want by telling a story to someone who visualizes it. You can think about real world objects and events in 3 dimensions with your eyes closed. You can dream in 3 dimensions and you aren't even really conscious. It (I?) is literally insane. And Lord forbid we think outside the box on this one. You're going to believe physicists that once declared the earth 2 dimensional and believe there are only 3 dimensions?! Fuck there may be 4 dimensions (imagination?). 5 (dreaming/subconscious imagination)? Who really knows?

Point is everything we do in this world may be illegitimate. Another classic example: you could be in a coma imagining the whole concept of reading this blog. How could you ever really know for sure? We don't have a sweet personalized object-magiggy to let us know we are actually "awake". Maybe you drank like 15 beers "yesterday" and crashed into a guard rail and are on life support. But you still have the mental capability to conjure memories about any activity or object you have ever encountered and can manipulate these pieces into whatever scenario you damn well please. (For all intents and purposes, I would hope you would conjure up something more exciting like paris hilton in her underwear but hey, whatever floats your boat).

The "real" point (haha) is that we will never know for sure if reality exists or not. Just like the ending of a good movie i just Saw (too much? i'm just firing on all cylinders tonight).

I'm talking about Inception, Mom, not Saw.

Repeat Offender: Walking On Broken Glass (13)

BRYtunes Genius Recommendation: Aerosmith- Dream On (24), He Loves Me Not- Dream (11), Dreams- The Cranberries (8), A Dream- Jay-Z Feat. Faith Evans and B.I.G (55), Awake and Dreaming- Finger Eleven (13), Dreams Away- Hurt (11), I Luv Your Girl- The Dream (45), Dreamlover- Mariah Carey (12), Dreamer- Ozzy Osborne (22), In A Sweet Dream- Strata (32), Never Had A Dream Come True- S Club 7 (11), Dreamin'- One Republic (5), American Dreamin'- Jay-Z (14), Day Dreaming- DJ Drama (31), Here I Dreamt I Was an Alchemist- The Decemberists (6), Dream Weaver- Gary Wright (2), Liquid Dreams- O-Town (1)

Wow, a plethora of 5 star and quasi-5 star songs related to dreaming...

Miami- Taking Back Sunday (36)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCLkPY-DO-g

So this was the best song on my computer with the word "Miami" in it. You would think watching LeBron James and his ridiculous "The Decision" special would just reinforce why I hate most people in the world in general. It did. But surprisingly, my trip to Boston and Fenway last weekend embodied everything wrong with people in the world in general. I know no one is perfect but fuck, when did everyone stop trying?

First things first....LeBron James is an overpaid, smug, silver-spoon fed, brat with poor sportsmanship and turrble moral compass that has never had to work for anything in his life. That is just a fact. His (undeserving) sense of entitlement literally made me vomit (that and the handle of jack i polished off). News flash asshole, YOU HAVE NEVER WON ANYTHING. Your last championship was a Divison III Ohio High School Basketball Title bro. I have a high school basketball state championship. I was a small white sophomore who actually never played a minute on the title team but you know what, I pimp that gold ball like I hit the game winning shot and I feel completely comfortable doing so and you know why? BASKETBALL IS A TEAM SPORT. The NBA is so grossly individualized (worthy of its own blog) that I only watch the playoffs anyways (which is a marathon in of itself) and you know what I've seen you do in the playoffs? Lose for one. Fake shoulder injuries, two. Not shake your opponents hand after defeat, three. Look I hate losing more than I hate emo kids who wear skinny jeans and plaid shirts with their boxers hanging out, but the day I walk of the court/field and not shake my opponents hand will be the day i shit strawberry flavored lollipops out of my asshole. That is the ultimate disrespect not only to your opponents but the entire league, its fans, your teammates, and anyone who has ever competed in any sport at any level. Fuck you. You are not better than the game. Michael Jordan isn't better than the game. This league gives you and your peers the opportunity to play a kid's game for your adult life and make more money than most countries in africa can even imagine. The sooner you realize that we the fans allow you this reality, the better off you will be. You are privileged to have us. We are not privileged to watch you, you arrogant motherfucker. And by the way, joining forces with 2 other immature all-stars that are yet to understand the big picture doesn't guarantee you a championship either. I am in no way a fan of Boston's big 3 but when they came together they were mature superstars heading toward the end of their careers desperate to win a championship. Willing to do anything...cut salary, cut playing time, put up worse numbers, etc. Bosh, Wade and James are cocky ego-maniacs that need the attention and MVP numbers to be happy. And just for the record the only reason Dwayne Wade ever won a championship was because of Shaquille O'Neal and if you think otherwise you are kidding yourself.

On a different note I'm shocked that "The Decision" wasn't rated TV-MA. I didn't know you could show Jim Gray sucking cock on TV without any warning.

And to avoid another slur-filled paragraph-length rant I will just let the Vitamin Water shit slide. A vending machine in stocked with only Vitamin Water in the background? That's realistic... (and a horrible economic investment to boot). A half finished Vitamin Water next to "King James". Right. A billion commercials for it. Vitamin Water tastes like I ate a bunch of strawberries and pissed in a bottle.

I feel a little better now. But I fully expect to hate pampered athletes and star struck sports writers. However, when I went to Boston this weekend I soon realized why I am the anti-social prick we all love and adore. I love baseball and always will. But there might have been 10 people in a sold out Fenway Park that I could stomach just talking to. In fact probably less than 100 people in the entire city of Boston that I would actually enjoy having a conversation with. If you don't speak English it's not happening. There goes like 50% of the city right there. If you are wearing an authentic MLB jersey, have visible sunscreen spots you forgot to rub in, if you think you know way too much about baseball, if you are a raging bitch, if you scream "ooh" on every fly ball, if you don't know who heidi watney is, if you are eating fruit, if you talk on your cell phone mid-game, if you take up two seats because you are morbidly obese, if you make out with tongue in public, if your gross underwear is showing, if you are a dude with thong sandals, if you have a fanny pack, if you think david ortiz didn't take steroids, if you don't know the name of the team the Red Sox are facing, if you call the field "Fenway Stadium", if you sing along with the national anthem, if your kid is annoying as shit, or if you drop the peanuts when the peanut guy throws it you don't make the cut either. We're down to like 5% now.

How fucking hard is it to go into public, keep to yourself, enjoy the game, and not be a complete failure at life?

Now I know how everyone around me must have felt 2 weekends ago when I got kicked out of the Taking Back Sunday concert at House of Blues in Boston for being "too intoxicated". Jeez, I should have at least tried to fight some of the aforementioned emo kids, i no doubt could have taken like 15 of those punks.

BRYtunes Genius Recommendation: In Our Defense- The Academy Is (55)

Repeat Offender: Cute Without the "E", MakeDamnSure, Timberwolves at New Jersey, Everything Must Go...great band. Highly recommend all of their CD's.