White America- Eminem (90)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLMqbzpBrYA

This is an argument I've had with numerous people for one reason or another. Well I guess it’s not really an argument because I always win. America is the greatest country in the world; if you disagree then you are wrong. Even if you were to attempt to prepare a case against me, I still win because I don't give two shits what you say or think on the topic.

First and foremost, the US is the richest, most powerful, badass country around. Fact. That's just numbers. But let's pretend like that doesn't matter for the sake of argument (but really it does so you lose before we start).

So I'll present you with some of the most common strategy of attacks against the US and then systematically dismantle them.

1) 1) Americans are ignorant of culture. Right, the country that’s own culture is a melting pot of like a billion cultures mashed into one awesomely unique society is ignorant of culture. Last time I checked you are free to do pretty much anything you damn well please in the States in regards to your heritage and its ceremonies. In the middle of downtown Manchester, New Hamphsire -most certainly the first city you think when you think of racial diversity-there are pharmacy students of asian, chinese/Japanese/both?, saudi arabic, hispanic, african American, dominican, and latino descent. And those are just the ones I dare attempt to conjugate suffix-endings for. My neighbors from back home are originally from Gambia, Africa. Two of my roommates and close friends from college hail from Curaco of the Netherland Antilles and another is from Burlington, Ontario. There are Mexican and Thai food places in Bangor, Maine. So I say to you, “ass clown claiming ignorance of culture as a downfall of America person”, find a place on earth more culturally diverse and I will gladly buy your plane ticket the fuck out of here.

2) 2) The states lack historical worldliness. Before I annihilate this one, I never even understood the argument presented to begin with. What is so great about old things? Seriously… “this was built 200 years ago and contains so much history” Yeah, that’s probably why its crumbling and smells like mold. This was the palace of King so and so. And what did he do again? Oh slaughtered people with his militia and ate grapes, sweet man. To “the historian”, I say this country is the most successful society in the history of the planet and was established in the name of freedom as opposed to world domination. We as a nation are a living, breathing, pure creation of history each and every day.

3) 3) Americans are insensitive to those in need. This is my favorite. First off, you are admitting inferiority by acknowledging the fact that the US is responsible for making sure everyone is doing okay. Secondly, be more awesome like us and you wouldn’t need our help. Just because other countries are still waging religious wars and beating their wives’ doesn’t make us responsible to feed their children. Tell me how I really feel. No but seriously, free-market-survival-of-the-fittest isn’t just the way we do things, it’s the way evolution does things. Take care of yourself, your family, and then help others if you can. Even with this go for the throat attitude I embrace, I think you’ll find America is still the best place to reside. Freedom of speech, religion, and press. Equality. Democracy (well, sort of…topic for next blog?). Oppurtunity. The fact that immigrants continually and willingly risk their lives’ to come to the country to start new lives speaks volumes to the environment. It’s like the best of both worlds. Fierce competition for success but with an underlying dose of patriotic compassion and friendliness. Tit-for-tat. You help me and I’ll help you. To the, “the US is insensitive and inconsiderate” dissenter, I say- the world is insensitive and inconsiderate. But if you’re not lazy and can tolerate others and their beliefs then you’ll do just fine in the States and won’t need any of my charity.

So there you have it. Game, set, match.

Repeat Offender: Eminem is the best rapper dead/alive of all time.

BRYtunes Genius Recommendation: Summertime- Kenny Chesney (54)

One Song Glory-Rent (34)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnjMMguo9Zc

So I do have a sensitive side. Well sort of. I went to Rent with my girl friend. For those of you (normal) males out there that have no idea what I'm talking about, Rent is a musical. Not only is it a musical, it is a musical about mostly homeless, gay couples with AIDS. What inexplicably horrible thing did I do to her to force me to go to a musical about gays with AIDS you say? Truth be told, I bought her the tickets as a Valentine's day gift (at significantly lower price than market value, don't put me on a pedestal just yet ladies).....Now, just because I'm an emotionless slob that is content sitting in my room watching baseball tonight until i doze off with one hand in my pants and the other in a bag of doritos (insert any flavor here to complete the visual except zesty taco/chipotle ranch, thats just gross) doesn't mean she doesn't get bored.

So her roommate says to her, "you know he's going to be miserable right...he hates gays, makes fun of people with aids, and thinks theater is for pussies"... or something to that effect. Whoa. I was sort of offended for the first time in a while.

Look, just because i hate perez hilton, clay aiken, ricky martin, and sam bradford as much as the next straight guy doesn't mean I hate gay people. Just because I call things that annoy me "so gay" or call people who throw a football like Nick Jonas "fags" doesn't mean I hate gay people. And I will argue to the grave that being gay IS a choice and you are not born that way but even still I don't hate gay people. That's my opinion, deal with it. Intolerance of opinion, in my opinion, is as equal an evil as being a homophobe or bigot or feminist (yes, this is the correct word choice).

Just because I tool on Magic Johnson and laugh at south park episodes doesn't mean I laugh at people with aids. Referring to my cat Mr. Bigglesworth (who has cat aids...for real-Feline Immunodeficiency Virus) as my monkey doesn't mean I in someway belittle the seriousness of the disease and the people's whose lives' it greatly effects. It's just funny to me. Racial jokes are funny to some. Sexist remarks are funny to some. They're funny or they wouldn't persist. I'm sure there are some things that you find humorous that I think are outright stupid (dave chappelle, the golden girls, popsicle sticks), but they must be funny to some because they are around. If you take your opinions in life too seriously I guarantee you will be miserable to be around...i mean look at hitler, PETA, and the white people who jailed daryl hunt.

As for theater, I'm aware that it takes much skill. Just because I'm not good at something or don't "like" it per se doesn't mean I can't respect it (allude to glassjaw and craig morgan). But if you spell theater "theatre" or can't handle criticism of your craft then I feel perfectly comfortable calling you a pussy. No offense...

BRYtunes Genius Recommendation: Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert (22)

Repeat Offender: Seasons of Love (12)